Sergeant Mom

Mornings in our house are like a chaotic tornado. Are you ready? Put on your seatbelt:

I come flying in the house from the gym. My early bird child is awake but relaxing cozily on the couch. My snoozer child is still, of course, snoozing with the alarm clock blasting in her ear. The baby is yelling, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" from his crib upstairs. The Doc is in the shower getting ready for work. I begin to mutate from loving mother into drill sergeant.

I’d make a really good drill sergeant – It is a direct result from teaching kindergarten for a three years. The key here is, ladies, is mastering the one-word commands:

Up.
Clothes.
Hair.
Focus.
Sit.
Eat.
Listen.
Socks.
Shoes.
Teeth.
Backpack.

Then – MOVE IT! MOVE IT!! MOVE IT!!!
All while shoving them out the door.

**By the way, using this drill sergeant routine with the Doc has not gone over well. Do not try that at home.

By the time I have the kids in the car, making sure at least the baby is buckled in his car seat and the others are sitting on something and not hanging half way out the windows (yes, that happened, but after the old man yelled at me from across the street I now must double check), the drill sergeant in me is fuming. If I could, I would have them drop and give me 100 push ups on the spot. I drive too fast to school, catching air over the speed bumps, all the while lecturing them:

"What's so hard about it? It's the same drill every morning! Why don't you guys just do it? Why would you think you had time to build a lego tower before school? Why am I a crazy lady?"

I go through the drop off line, my kids tumble over each other trying to flee the mini van before I drop kick them out the door. Ugh.

In my defense, I have tried more positive approaches besides the drill sergeant. Miracle Music, point systems, prizes, death threats (OK, not so positive) – nothing has worked except one thing:

Bikes.

From Personal Training pics

My kids will hustle faster than new privates at boot camp in order to ride their bike to school each morning. The alarm goes off, they bound out of bed, throw the clothes on, happily jump down the stairs ready for breakfast. They eat quickly and enough, then off to wrap up their last chores before departure time of 7:30 AM.

OK, true not every morning is perfectly blissful and on those days it is nice to have the bike ride as a bargaining chip (“Oh, you aren’t going to get out of bed? That’s fine, I guess you aren’t riding your bike to school today.”)– It does the trick every time!

We are a spectacle as we make our way through the neighborhood each morning and afternoon with the entire crew. Sometimes even the Doc and Buddy the dog join us. Think traveling circus. I’ve been stopped in the grocery store with, “Oh, you are the mom on the bike pulling the baby who rides your kids to school each morning. And now the dog is coming too??”

In the end, I love it because it gives my kids an extra 20 minutes of exercise each day – and me too! I’m a pro at pumping up tires and putting on chains in a flash. Yes, I still find myself resorting to the drill sergeant during the bike rides, “Faster. Slower. Stop. Go. No pop-a-wheelies in the school zone.” However, Sergeant Mom can chill and turn back into just Mom -- and get a hug and kiss out of the deal.

From Personal Training pics